The Post
by Unimaginative Lot
Summary: Ok its not a drabble anymore, but it still involve's a girl obsessed with looks on a mission and a wicked pen. Completely AU. NOT A ROMANCE! Now Complete.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone. Well this is definitely not my usual stuff. A little unsophisticated, but humorous all the same. The insomnia really was getting to me, hence the bizarreness of the piece.

Chapter 1

Dear Voldi,

May I call you Voldi? It does seem slightly less chilling than Voldemort. I am writing to inform you that your actions are inept, your strategies flawed, and your guesses featherbrained. My niffler has bigger brains than you, unkind Sir, when it comes down to 'thinking.' I don't really know why I am writing this and sending it to you of all people. I suppose the insomnia is getting to me. Oh, and you're hideous as well. You really ought to make some use of blush. I recommend Maybelline products. They give a natural look while minimalizing irritation to sensitive skin. And you just might want to purchase a wig. I know of some muggle cancer centers that donate complementary pieces made of genuine human hair to cancer patients. I'm sure they would believe you if you claimed to have contracted the disease. And finally, you REALLY should think about getting a life. I mean honestly, when was the last time you let your hair down? Figuratively speaking of course. I suppose that's all I've got to say for now. If you have any questions about the make over, please feel free to owl me,

Hate from, Lavender Brown

Ps. A nose job wouldn't be objectionable either. Ta-

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A/N: Okay, so this is ridiculous right? I'm utterly ashamed of it. But I might just continue it out of complete and pure boredom while I'm waiting around for my beta to get back to me with my 'Opus.' heehee. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank You my lovely reviewers! Reviews are truly enchanting…

Chapter 2

Dear Godfather,

I am writing because there may be real danger for the stupid chit who got it in her head to write to our Lord. Lavender Brown has struck up a correspondence that will probably be the death of her. I don't know what she said, but I was there when he opened his letters at breakfast. I've never seen such a frightening display in my life. He paled even more, if that is possible, and became so enraged that he turned over the table the muggle way: which shows just how angered he truly was. He charged out of the breakfast parlour ranting about 'audacious mudbloods.' I wasn't about to risk life and limb to inform him that he was mistaken in his assumption. I couldn't give two sickles whether Brown lived or died, but in all fairness she is not a mudblood. Do what you can for her Uncle Severus, if that is, she hasn't already been kidnapped and taken before him. And Please, I don't think my heart can take another episode like this morning: please get her to stop writing.

Adieu, Draco

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A/N: Okay, now the real fun - next up: Voldi's reply, heehee.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello everyone. Thanks for the reviews, and sorry about the wait: I was killer busy. Anyhow, I know I said Voldi was gonna be next, but I was thinking about it and I figure he'd need a little more harassment before actually writing back. So here's another fun note…enjoy…

Chapter 3

Dear Voldi,

Come now, don't be such a sour-puss. I know you're just dying to write back. No pun intended: I know you can't die. Except perhaps by Harry's extraordinarily skilled hand. You better watch out: people are going to start talking if you don't even have enough back bone to return correspond with the fashion Queen of Hogwarts… Oops. Sorry, I forgot you're part snake and that you probably, literally, don't have any back bone. Honestly no pun intended. But anyhow, I was chit-chatting with my boyfriend Won-won today and heard a very interesting story. Is it true Voldi, that you had a friendship/correspondence with Ginny Weasley while your dying memory was still stuck in a diary? That's so romantic! I cant wait till tomorrow morning so I can ask her all about it. Do you still miss her? I mean even a stone hearted, ranting, raving, lunatic like you must have that one true love…was it her? My owls are open to you at any time, please write,

Hate from Lavender

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Hope you liked it, Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

FINALLY! I'm back! Been gone too long. Here's another :-)

Chapter 4

Miss Brown,

Do you honestly believe that you are accomplishing anything other than endangering your unfathomably stupid young life by writing to me? Me. The greatest wizard of all time. Your Potter is but a boy...unable to protect your family. Yes, Miss Brown. 22 Auburn st., Brighton. I know where they live, who they are, even their evening habits. If fact, I have a guard watching them right now. The only reason I haven't acted on my power as of now, is because I find it unreasonably pointless to waste my time, or my Death Eaters' time on stupid little girls like you. I would advise that you not try my patience by writing again. Your ridiculous little farce ends here. I will not except another transgression from your quarter again. And give thanks that I'm of a generous mind at the moment...at the moment. If you value your mindless existence, write no more.

Lord Voldemort


	5. Chapter 5

Miss Brown,

I expect to see you... my office, eight o'clock, Monday morning. Though I am not your Head of House, as your Professor I require your presence. Do not tell anyone, other than the Headmaster perhaps, where you are going... Do not be late...

Professor S. T. Snape

* * *

A/N: 2 in one Day! Go Me!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I figured since I shamefully abandoned this fic for sooo long, I had to make up for it by getting as much in as I could today...enjoy.

* * *

Parvati,

I've just scored! Voldi replied! I cant wait to tell Won-won and Harry... but right now Snape's called on me for some idiotic reason. Won't be able to see them until after lunch. Wish me luck!

Lavender-

Oh! and Ps. Ginny was being an absolute hag about information on Voldi. She didn't really seem to want to talk about it. I cant imagine why...I mean, she should be excited about telling her story. But there's nothing for it, she's holding out on us. We'll have to figure our way through by ourselves... but anyhow I've got the most important ingredient. I'll see you later.

* * *

Sorry, about the shortness of these chapies...it'll all tie in :)


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: So sorry if you thought this was a seventh chapter...I'm working on that. This is a sign post. There was a maddening glitch in the system, and I ended up deleting chapter 4 by mistake. Then Chapter 5 decided it wanted chapter 4's name...Hu! Anyhow, it's all patched up now, and if you wish, you can go back and make sure that you read them in order... Thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

* * *

Albus,

That girl is incorrigible! I spoke to her of leaving actions on behalf of the war effort to those qualified. She simply looked to her pinkly polished finger nails in indifference. You may imagine my frustration. Before long I had her listening to me at least, but I doubt she took any of it to heart. You must try to put some sense to her Albus, or otherwise restrict her posting privileges. Miss Brown is in eminent danger. Perhaps Minerva could speak to the girl.

S. T. Snape

* * *

A/N: Ooooh, Parvati writes to Harry next...


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, in an attempt to turn negative energy into positive energy, I am going to try to finish this tale tonight...lets see how well I do...wish me luck :)

* * *

Dear Harry, Harry Dear...

I know this is a bit sudden, but Lavender and I have something of great importance to import to you. Meet us behind the statue of the hunchback witch on the third floor, just after lunch,

with hugs, ©Parvati©

* * *

something of great importance to import indeed...catch ya in a few...


	10. Chapter 10

Ron,

You won't believe it! I've got it... the answer to everything. I've just talked to Lavender and Parvati. I'm already on my way to the Shrieking shack through the secret passage. I know you're still in the Great Hall eating lunch. Please get Hermione, and Dumbledore. Straight away. This is important.

Harry-


	11. Chapter 11

Parvati!

I've been keeping an eye on Harry since we all left the third floor an hour ago. You need to get out of class NOW. I think he's going to try it now, and I don't want to miss it. I want you to come along too. Fein sick or something, but come out and meet me in the east side courtyard. I'll only wait for the next twenty minutes and then you're on your own,

Hugs, Lavender-


	12. Chapter 12

Dumbledore,

The Dark Lord has just summoned me to his presence. I will leave within the quarter hour. Have the pensive ready for I will return shortly...

S.T. Snape


	13. Chapter 13

Okay...We're finally cutting out of letter format, and into third person narrative... for the next couple chapters...enjoy :)

* * *

Hermione came bursting into the shack first, followed by Ron, then Dumbledore. "Harry! What is it?"

"Dumbledore! We've got it... a perfect plan. It's brilliant. I know how to find every horcrux and Voldemort himself."

"And how might that be Harry?"

"Lavender, she's been experimenting with different spells, and found a way to put together a point-me with a reverse portkey charm... She's made it possible to drag Voldemort and all his horcrux's here to this spot, or wherever we are, so we can dispose of them all in one shot!"

Dumbledore furrowed his brows in thought. "This is a delicate matter Harry. How did Miss Brown do this?"

"Look," Harry pulled out the letter Lavender had entrusted to him. "Its the key. She needed something which he had touched before. A letter was perfect since he actually wrote on it: it contains his personal aura as an artefact he produced."

Hermione looked at it and listened with rapt attention.

"It's got his essence. That's all we need. Now if we invoke her newly developed spell, and use this as the point of origin, we will activate a reverse portkey. He wont have a chance to resist. It will find him, from wherever he is...and since we're using a point of origin with his personal aura, it will also find his horcrux's from wherever they are. They will all be transported here, effective immediately." Harry was out of breath he was so excited. "They'll all come at the same time, so it will be necessary to finish him off first, but we'll have his horcrux's here...so we can deal with them after."

"How do you know this spell of Lavender's works?" asked the ever thinking Hermione.

"She showed me! She did it with a note Parvati had written her. I met her on the third floor after lunch, and she told Parvati to run up to the fifth floor. After Parvati was out of sight, she took out the note, invoked the spell, and I swear! Parvati fell on the floor right in front of me. It was obvious she had been portkeyed. Lavender doesn't know about the horcrux's, but she said its completely full proof. It has no choice. The essence pulls the rest of it back, so his horcrux's must come too, they cant fight the portkey."

"And this?" asked Dumbledore, "is a letter from Tom?"

"Yes, she hounded him for a long time before he finally wrote back! I cant believe she actually pulled it off! She didn't want to tell anyone of the spell when she first invented it: she knew it could be used for something very important. And she was right. After she thought of the perfect use, she started writing to him straight away."

Dumbledore stroked his long white beard in thought. "We must first get Severus back. If we invoke this spell now, it will be quite the fight here in this little shack. Best have all the aces possible." Dumbledore pulled out a letter from his good friend the potions master. "Now Harry, tell me how to use this spell of Miss Brown's."

* * *

0.0 Here comes Severus! He'll be very angry to be getting dragged about I'm sure... Unfortunately I am unable to finish tonight...life just came up, not sleep, LIFE... I cant get shut-eye for another couple hours, and in between time I'll be consintrating :( , or else I would have finished. Oh well, another night I guess, Thanks for reading, and I hope you like it so far...


	14. Chapter 14

"Albus! What is the meaning of this? I was before the Dark Lord, receiving some very important information. I will need to explain to him what happened unless I wish to be crushio'd until Doom's Day... Why are we here? With students, Headmaster?"

"I am sorry Severus, if we have inconvenienced you. But we've found a most convenient way to defeat Tom as of... today."

"What? That's ridiculous. Please explain yourself forthwith."

"Miss Brown has discovered a spell that will allow us to portkey Voldemort, and all his fragmented selves, here to us effective immediately."

Severus looked on in astonishment, which was an unprecedented sight for our star cast students.

"Fragmented selves? Are you saying the gits got horcrux's?"

"Indeed Severus. five to be exact. He did posses seven, but Harry and I have already dealt with two of them."

Severus wiped a tired hand across his face, "Good Lords."

"The point is Severus, since I have made things quite difficult for you should you choose to return to the strong hold, I suggest we get this fifty years war over with right here and now."

"Alright. What do you wish me to do."

"Hide in the shadows as you always have my boy... you shall be our re-enforcements."

"Of course Albus. But, we will need something of powerful qualities to destroy the horcrux's..."

Dumbledore put a hand up, "Relax. I have already retrieved the sword of Gryffindor before I sent for you."

Severus looked as if he could not comprehend the notion that all was ready so suddenly, "Very well, I shall station myself then."

"Jolly good." Dumbledore watched Severus trudge to the back corner of the room before turning to Harry, "Now Harry, There is a good chance that Nagini is the seventh horcrux, so we will have to fight two enemies at once. You're first and only concern should be Voldemort himself... Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger and myself shall take care of Nagini. Is that clear?"

"Yes Sir."

"Alright, you have your father's cloak of course...put it on. And Harry, try to disarm me."

"What? Why?"

"Do as I ask please."

Harry looked doubtful but complied. He tried his best and fastest disarming spell, thinking full well, that he would fail miserably. Dumbledore very calmly however raised his wand to defend himself and was easily disarmed. The twinkle in his eyes intensified as Harry caught his wand with a bewildered look.

"Very good Harry. You will be using my wand, which is now your wand, in this little scuffle. Will you permit me use of your old wand?"

"Yeah..." With furrowed brows of confusion, Harry handed over his beloved phoenix feathered wand to Dumbledore.

"And one more thing," Dumbledore removed the gold ring with the cracked and broken black stone from his unblemished hand and gave it to Harry. "Wear this Harry, for it holds the greatest protection I can give you."

Harry took it without question and placed it on his finger.

"Good. Well, all appears to be as it should for the moment... Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, stand beside me please." They scurried over faster than Harry thought possible to flank the great wizard. "Are you all ready?"

There were simultaneous nods from all corners of the room. Harry braced himself with his wand at the ready. He stood at the centre of the room wearing his father's cloak about his shoulders: his head and exposed wand arm the most obvious of the company.

Dumbledore began with Voldemort's letter held high, "Portus, directa me..."

There was a shining, twirling beam of light just between Harry and Dumbledore where the serpentine despot, his snake, and three small objects plopped unceremoniously on the floor.

The instant it happened curses streaked the air in a rainbow of colour. Only this time, Vodemort was caught so off guard that the only colour which was travelling was travelling directly to him. The snake was presently being stabbed to death by the sword of Gryffindor, after being incapacitate by several stunning spells. When Voldemort was aware enough to protego himself, his eyes fell upon the mangled body of his familiar, and he roared with anger. "HARRY POTTER!" He looked about and only saw the boy's head: clearly he was wearing an invisibility cloak. This did not detour Voldemort... a measly invisibility cloak could not protect the wearer from an Avada Kedavra. He threw himself into vicious fight with his lifetime nemesis.

Harry fought as hard as he could with every spell he could think of besides the killing curse...it just wasn't in him.

Ron and Hermione moved to enter the fray but were stopped by the strong arm of their Headmaster. They looked in confusion, but only found his commanding eyes... This was a fight Harry had to wage on his own.

They all watched as the tension and pressure of magic in the room blew the windows clean out of their frames. A ball of the intense power was forming around the two objects of its existence...

There was a shout from both battlers and Harry flew across the room and slammed into the wall, slumping dramatically as if for all the world dead.

Voldemort smiled as a man who had just received a "yes" from his beloved to his suit. The whole room was silent in stock still shock. Then, they all jumped as an ear piercing scream struck through the room.

"YOU UGLY MONSTER!!!"

They were all shocked senseless by the sight of Lavender Brown leaping from a dark corner and sticking a wand between Voldemort's red eyes.

After the initial annoyed look he gave, Voldemort started to laugh. "Ah, the famous Miss Brown. Tell me, did you really think your Potter had what it took to defeat me in a fair fight, Me? Did you really think there was anything in the world he could do to stop me?"

Without a word Lavender acted. "EMBELLESA!" she shrieked as she brandished her wand with strength.

Everyone grimaced as Voldemort stumbled backward when the force of the spell hit him square in the face. They all looked on with growing horror as his grotesque face became even more so with the embellishment of thick and gaudy looking cosmetics. His white pale skin ebbed away in the progress of the smearing facial skin toner, while a ridiculous amount of blush pushed itself to the fore. His eyelashes seemed to thicken and darken of their own accord, the ridge of his forehead sprouted thin and perfectly shaped brown brows, and black eyeliner danced across the edges of his eyes. Voldemort yelped as contacts visibly pushed themselves into his eyes, and he threw his hands upon his face in the growing sting of the make-over. Before long, long blond hair began blossoming atop his head, making him look like a freakish and unflattering cartoon of Lucius Malfoy, and he could scarcely see from his tearing eyes as he stumbled about in complete disarray.

And this is how Harry found the company on his return to the land of the living. He furrowed his brows in bewilderment before groggily rubbing his eyes, thinking that the scene before him had to be a most ludicrous dream. When Harry stood, everyone (including him) cringed at Voldemort's high pitched "You!" as he pointed an outraged finger. Upon hearing his own voice reduced to a girl's screechy soprano, Voldemort paused with pure fury on his face. His now cobalt blue eyes (which incidentally made him look like an absurdly psychotic porcelain doll) turned to the girl who had done this to him. He raised his wand to undoubtably Avada Kedavra her, but Severus Snape chose that moment to step forward in a blaze of black billowing defence.

Green light flashed across the room straight and true hitting it's target square in the chest. Voldemort, or this now further perverted form of Voldemort, was thrown back and landed, finally, cold and dead.

Everyone was indeed speechless. Snape however, was the embodiment of strategic calculation and forethought.

"Let us be truly done with this without anymore delay!" He moved to collect the remaining horcruxes, the cup of Hufflepuff, the Diadem of Ravenclaw and Slytherin's locket. Handing them to a muddled Harry, he then retrieved the Sword of Gryffindor from an open-mouthed Ron. "Take it Potter. Finish this once and for all!"

With complete incoherence, Harry took the sword and moved to the centre of the room...


	15. Chapter 15

So sorry for not responding to anyone's reviews. I posted so fast I didn't even get a chance to receive them until just today, when I cooked up this little chapter and the next... :) Thank you infinitely for your liking and support of the story still.

* * *

Dear Minerva,

We are presently making our way across the grounds. Severus, Harry, Ronald, Hermione Granger, the brave duo, Miss Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, and myself. I ask that you have Poppy ready for us, for we have some minor nicks and cuts from a most curious encounter of the last hour and a half. To say the long and the short of the matter, Voldemort is no more. I will give you full details on our return to the castle, which should take place in approximately a quarter of an hour.

Thank you Min, Albus-


	16. Chapter 16

Headline: Voldemort Vanquished!

article by Rita Skeetar

The ever charming Harry Potter, age 14, has escaped calamity and sudden death once again as he triumphed against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named last Friday, December 12, 2005. Only this time he had assistance from a very unexpected quarter. One Miss Lavender Brown, age 17, a friend and fellow student of Potter's, discovered quite an intriguing 'reverse portkey' charm quite by accident while studding for her NEWTs. She went to Hogwart's current questionable Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, age 460, with this new development, thinking it could be used as a spell patent. It is rumoured that Dumbledore, never missing an opportunity to take advantage of the unsuspecting, took the spell without authorization, and used it in a complex strategy to trap He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in a small shack outside of Hogwarts. He is also said to have mislead Potter into travelling hither, where the Chosen-One was struck unexpectedly with a spell that should have killed him. Luckily for the wizarding world at large, Potter was able to pull himself together and defend himself. On a more disturbing note, it is also rumoured that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was in the possession of quite a bit of horcruxes. For those who are ignorant of what this means, it is a form of keeping one's self alive through fragmentation of the soul into inanimate objects. It is very dark magic, quite unfit to describe fully. Luckily Potter was privy to this fact and rose to the occasion admirably and cunningly in the face of treachery and betrayal. Potter has since been hospitalized for mild bouts of exhaustion and general recuperation precautions. One would hope that the present Headmaster of Hogwarts is questioned for his actions in endangering a student, not to mention saviour of the wizarding world, recklessly. As for the wizarding world, we find ourselves free, safe and at peace for the time being; and very grateful to one of this generation's most revered youths and heroic young men.

next weeks article: an interview with the famed Harry Potter


	17. Chapter 17

Harry,

I never imagined you would agree to an interview with that horrible cow Skeeter. I mean, she'll probably be somewhat complimentary since you are now in such a favourable light, but I just was curious how she got you to agree. I hope you exit hospital soon, I know Pomfrey can be quite overbearing and too thorough sometimes...

With Love, Hermione-


	18. Chapter 18

Hermione I didn't! She's lying. Probably hoping I'll go along just cause she said so in her article, and thinks I won't disappoint the public. Well, she's got another thing coming. I don't want her to twist my words. And after the horrible things she said about Dumbledore, getting my age wrong when she got 'Lav-lav's' right, AND getting Dumbledore's age impossibly wrong, I WILL NEVER speak to her again. Tell Luna that any interviews I give are going through her dad, NOT Rita Skeeter.

Harry-


	19. Chapter 19

Quibbler's Question/Answer session with Harry Potter:

Interview conducted by Luna Lovegood

Q: Hi Harry.

A: Er. Hi Luna...

(pause)

Is there something you wanted to ask me?

Q: Oh yes Harry. Is You-Know-Who gone?

A: Yes.

Q: I believe you Harry.

A: Okay...er, thanks.

Q: There seems to be a lot of brooms flying about advertising that you only banished him again... I believe you Harry, but they don't. Put the public to rest.

A: Oh, right... Well, you see, last time any normal person would have died in his place. The only reason he didn't were because of the horcruxes.

Q: And everyone, you can refer to page 3 for the explanation of what a horcrux is.

A: Oh actually Luna, that explanation doesn't explain it... er, the way Vol-, sorry, You-Know-Who did it.

(pause)

His horcruxes were not his old dorm's toilet plunger, his girlfriend's purple shoe, and his favourite Death Eater's tea cup. He had a fascination with old and historically valuable artefacts. When he was at school his first horcrux was his own journal. But then he got looking for better things. It was Ruwena Ravenclaw's diadem, Helga Hufflepuff's golden cup, a ring that was supposed to have the "Death Stone" inlaid in it, most important of all, Salazar Slytherin's gold locket, and finally when power had got to his mind, his familiar: a huge snake.

Q: Oh. So, you're sure you found all the horcruxes then?

A: Yes. Lavender's spell allowed us to summon him... all of him. So, if there had been more horcruxes, they would have showed up in the Shrieking Shack.

Q: Was it the Shrieking Shack that you summoned him to!?!

A: (Jumps) Yes Luna.

Q: There's something so spiritually enlightening about the old tattered remains of a falsely haunted place.

A: I suppose so.

(pause)

Erm, Luna?

Q: Yes Harry?

A: Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?

Q: Oh yes Harry. There are a whole slew of things I want to ask you.

A: Oh.

(pause)

... What do you want to ask me?

Q: Do you ever have bad dreams?

A: (chokes) Not really.

Q: I just asked because there was a rumour that you used to when You-Know-Who was trying to call you.

A: Oh! Right. Well, yes I used to, but now it's pretty much cleared up.

Q: Does your scar ever hurt anymore?

A: No.

Q: Now Harry, we heard some very odd rumours about how things played out in the end. Care to clear them up?

A: Oh yea, well, once we summoned V- You-Know-Who, his snake, and the horcruxes, I started fighting him right off while Hermione, Ron and Dumbledore took care of Nagini, the snake. Once she was done with, Voldemort actually hit me with a spell that knocked me cold. Everyone thought I had died at that point, so Lavender, who had snuck in on us, confronted him. I was unconsceous so I don't know what happened, but I'm told that Lavender hit him with a hex. He wasn't expecting it so he was too hung up dealing with it's effects to see me regain consceousness. I stood up, and when he saw me, he decided to start fighting again and wanted to finish off Lavender first. That's when Snape came in and actually was the one who shot the killing curse. But in order for him to be truly dead, we had to destroy his horcruxes, so I did that shortly after with the help of Gryffindor's sword.

Q: What hex did Lavender hit him with?

A: Erm... it.. wasaspaandbeautycharm...

Q: Your trying to avoid the question.

A: No! I... 'it was a spa and beauty charm.'

Q: hmm... that's quite smart coming from a Gryffindor. He would be too upset by its effects to pay attention to what was going on... easy for him to miss Professor Snape's presence.

A: Yeah.

Q: And now that its finally all over, what do you plan to do?

A: Er, I don't know. Auror training sounds particularly appealing for when I get out of Hogwarts. I've still got a term left, so I plan on enjoying school for the first time without some big conspiracy and danger going on.

Q: How do you think this life long danger has effected you so far?

A: Well, I guess I've learned how to deal with this kind of stuff. With Hermione's and Ron's help of course. I really couldn't have done it without them.

Q: (nods) I really don't want to ask Harry, but the public expects it... Are there any marriage plans in the near future with a certain someone or perhaps a courtship?

A: Oh... No, not exactly. We got a little side tracked with this whole You-Know-Who thing, and I've got to see if she's still interested.

Q: Who?

A: Erm... I'd rather ask her first.

Q: Avoiding the question...

A: No! I just... She's just a very proud noble sort, and won't take kindly to me announcing to the whole world my plans before I've even asked her.

Q: What do you plan on asking her exactly?

A: I'm going to start at the beginning.

Q: Which is?

A: (takes a sip of water) I'm going to fall to my knees and beg her to forgive me for dumping her in the first place.

Q: Make sure the swig-giggles are absent when you do, else wise they'll probably remind her why you did in the first place.

A: I did it for her own protection!

Q: Even so, they can also remind her of your exceptionally ordinary attributes.

A: Thanks Luna.

Q: Your welcome...

Have anything else to add Harry?

A: Yes... I just wanted everyone to know that I am actually seventeen years old, not fourteen.

Q: We know that Harry.

A: Oh... good, I guess.

Q: Thank you so much Harry for your acceptance of this interview and good luck with the swig-giggles.

A: Thanks Luna.


	20. Chapter 20

I read the article Harry. And unless you're talking about Choe, I gather that you want to speak to me again soon. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. I understand why you did it... and I gave you my blessing. But you were right when you said I wouldn't take kindly to you announcing to the whole world your plans before asking me. I'm just a little hurt at you. I need a little cooling off time before you talk to me Harry, unless you want a sound hexing. I'll owl you when I'm ready to suffer you 'falling on your knees.' God how could you say that in a newspaper article! If you never once bowed to Voldemort, how could you belittle yourself like that to the public? Only one of the reasons I have to hex your picture a few more times before I can see you...

Ginny-


	21. Chapter 21

Partvati!

I do hope you've forgiven me for not waiting for you. But really, if I hadn't gotten there when I did, I would not have hexed Voldi, and things may have turned out differently. I'm really rather pleased with how things turned out. Harry didn't die! Just like last time! I knew it: I knew Harry was more powerful than that sod. Everyone's trying to claim that Voldi just hit him with a spell that knocked him cold, but I was there. That was definitely the killing curse, and Harry roused from it just like last time. I'm so proud to have been there, and helped...

I'm actually getting fan mail! A lot of it. And, I've been offered a paten for my spell! I'll be rich before the year is out! I'm so excited.

Oh, and guess what else? There's a rumour flying around that after that article in the Quibbler, Ginny won't speak to him anymore. The old hag has actually left him cause he said he would 'fall to his knees and beg forgiveness' from her... the miserable fool. I mean what kind of girl leaves the hero of the wizarding world days after he saved it? Oh well, maybe he'll get over it and date one of us! Although I must admit, I'm still madly in love with Won-won. He's gone and asked out that chipmunk Granger... ugh! barf... anyhow,

see you later, Lavender-


	22. Chapter 22

Ginny I'm sorry alright! Maybe its just a rumor on a broom, but Neville told me that Semus told him, that Hagrid was told by Percy, that you never want to see me again. I don't think that the words 'fall on my knees,' should be the deciding factor in what we do with our lives. I was destraught, thinking you might not forgive me, and missing you so bad I almost couldn't breathe. I've waited for your owl, even after that horrible letter, and still nothing. Do you not love me anymore? I'm planning on taking a trip, to find myself, somewhere far away from the public eye. And I want you to come with me. Ginny you won't be able to find me once I leave... please owl me before then... please.

Harry-


	23. Chapter 23

Harry,

Ginny is very upset. She doesn't want to forgive you, but she doesn't want you to leave either. She would probably hex me if she knew I was writing to you about this. She misses you badly Harry, more than I can say. Just come here and fall on your knees already so we can all be alright again. The Burrow is dark and dreary like this... just come, please.

Hermione-


	24. Chapter 24

Headline: HARRY POTTER MISSING...

Article by apprentice journalist: Susan Bones

It has come as quite a shock to friends and fans of our champion Harry Potter, age 17, that he has apparently gone missing as of late afternoon yesterday. He was last seen in route to 'the Burrow,' the residence of one Arthur Weasley, Head of the Department of Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects. The Weasleys have been close to the Boy-Who-Lived for several years now and there is no suspicion of any wrong doing in that quarter; the youngest of the seven Weasley heirs, Genurva Weasley, age 16, even said to have been romantically associated with him in the past. It thus begs the question: What has happened to him?

The fact that Generva Weasley has also gone missing would suggest the possible runaway of the two known lovers except for the rumours flying about that the two have been on bad terms as of late. The evidence suggesting that their relationship and subsequent future together is irreparable, which includes letters written in their own hand, is particularly telling. The Weasleys have been very reserved with the media on this matter and refused to give comment on their departure from the Department of Investigation on Missing Persons. They do not exibit open worry or any other emotion in company and Arthur Weasley has taken time off, effectively shutting himself and his family off from the public scene for the time being.

Harry Potter's other known close friend Hermione Granger, age 17, has agreed to give comment but is disappointingly vauge in her statements, saying that, "if Harry does not want to be found then the public should respect that." Does she indeed have a higher knowledge of his whereabouts? If so, what constitutes such secrecy? Has he and his old girlfriend simply been reunited in a romantic tale of love and elopement which might seem the perfect ending to a legendary epic of good and evil, or is there a darker shade veiling the truth? One would hope that the former be true and that the wizarding world can finally write up an end to the history which has dominated it for the last fifty years.

A/N: Can you guess what happened? This is pretty much my idea of an ambiguous ending...I was thinking of putting an epilogue, except for all the bad wrap the real one got...so you tell me, do you want one? If that be the case, I will be happy to oblige ;)


	25. Chapter 25

Epilogue

Dear Harry,

I understand you are quite happy where you are... I will not say where should this letter fall into the wrong hands. I would however like to acquaint you with what's new with us after twelve years. Ronald piddled around for a full year before he finally fell to his knees, and we've been happily married ever since. Oh, Lavender Brown's a huge name in the spell patent business, which of course you probably already know. We have a lovely daughter named Dorothy, and a son named Justin (Finchflechy thinks that's entirely to his credit, the sod). Anyhow, Dorothy has received her Hogwarts letter just a month ago. I understand also that Ginny has not been idle all these years. She's mothered how many children exactly? I hope to see you soon on account of your eldest coming to Hogwarts as well. Please owl me on the matter. I would also be delighted to purchase my children's wands personally and from you only. I like Olivander, but I would prefer to go to his best source, to the dragon's breath so to speak. And I congratulate you by the way, on keeping your identity secret through so many dealings with him...he surely would have told the world it was you supplying him with his best stock the last decade. Voldemort really had no idea he was giving you your greatest gift when he opened you to the idea that objects which have destroyed horcruxes would make exceptional magical wand cores. Your travels have been adventurous no doubt. You know Harry, Ron and I were looking for a change of scene. We've both quit our dreary jobs at the ministry and are on the re-bound for new work and new lives. I'd say an adventure is in order...we could assist you on your next horcrux/wand-core hunt if you like. We just want to get Dorothy settled at Hogwarts: she's way too young for such nonsense... Justin on the other hand can handle it. I swear sometimes I think his godfather, Sirius, has put a spell on him: filling his mind with danger and valiance. Which is why he's ready, at the age of nine, to get a little reality to back the fantasy. You'll love him Harry, he's a baby Sirius. Anyhow, talk to us. We eagerly await your owl.

With Love, Hermione-

A/N: No doubt you can guess what the reply answer was :) And not that I dislike JK. Rowling's thought on who their children would be, I just thought I'd do something new for fanfiction's sake :) Hope you like it. Thanks for reading xoxoxo...


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